i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize