it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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