sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
