Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize