omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I touched a dick in church today
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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