dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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