Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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