Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
