we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
