Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
