turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
