dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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