I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
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i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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