I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You are a genius and a whore.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
