Swine flu. Run for my life!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
