he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
