i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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