I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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