I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im holly from the hills drunk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i now understand why vodka
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
