wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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