I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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