i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
