Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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