cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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