Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
