K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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