then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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