I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't deserve a penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
that is very illegal...i love you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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