Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
