garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
