is your mom at the bar?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
