Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
