u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
