and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
