We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
