Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
