So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize