Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
