You really coming over, don't trick.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
