Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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