If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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