Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
