it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
