"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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