oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
