She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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