great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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