I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize