i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just found puke in my bra..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
