I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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