what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
