Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
