I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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