When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How naked do you want me to be?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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