i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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