he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
