where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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