my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I just put wine in my tea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
