Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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