Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
