either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
