there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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