It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you will always have a special place in my vag
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
